Thursday, January 05, 2006

Thursdays Thoughts

I joined a CAL on Crochetville yesterday hoping it motivates me a bit. It's the Fendi Knock Off Bag CAL. After I signed up, I realized I didn't have any "cheaper" yarn, so I have to dig in my stash. It doesn't give a yarn amount in the pattern. I may use the Red Heart Fiesta (?) I made my cocoon with that I frogged. It's the rose color with the wrap of blue and white. I know I have at least 4 skeins of that.

I have been finishing off the chenille bag. Of course, from taking so long to do it and not being "myself", it came out a bit lopsided, but it's fixable. Just shows why I don't want to start any clothing because my head is having trouble with the patterns. Must be the steroids.

Today is a fantabulous day, little hand pain, leg muscle tightness, but no breathing problems for the first time in a while. I have a primary appointment tomorrow, so at least he can check me. Of course, I worry he will find something wrong and send me to the hospital, so cross your fingers and toes all goes well. Elena keeps asking me if I am ever going to get better. I feel so badly about her having to see me like this and I also feel guilty about not getting better faster. Damn, this is the first time this whole lupus thing has scared me. Yep, I am scared this time. Taking so long, relapses, etc. I am also worried about my hands and scleroderma. My lab work shows scleroderma, but there hasn't been any signs of skin hardening. My hands bother me so much, I am fretting about that now. I remember two years ago when I went to the ER sick. The ER doctor looked at me, looked at my hands (the knuckles get red and blackish looking) and said "scleroderma" matter of factly. I promptly barfed all over and told her to "fuck herself". She told me she didn't appreciate my language. I then asked her how she could make a diagnosis looking at my hands and be so matter of fact about it? Then I told her to take out the IV, I was signing myself out against medical advice. She was pissed at me, when she was the one making a diagnosis looking at me for two minutes? I should have said more.

Cordy is home, thank goodness. I was so worried about her having to evacuate her home in Texas. Good news! I also joined her ring "Lop-Sided Breast Club" because I have lop-sided boobies, so there! so check it out!

Well, Elena is off to catch the bus-have a wonderful day!


Kari said...

OK, did you want us to check the webring out or your lopsided breast? (sorry I really couldn't resist it)

glad you are having a good day and I am sure your dr will be pleased and not put you in the hospital

Kathy said...

some doctors need to think before they open their mouth. Glad to see you're back to crocheting again, Deneen. Now to get you feeling up to dyeing some wool!

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