Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Rip-It! Rip-It! I hate frogging!

It seems like I have frogged the tank top 100 times, but in reality only 3 times. I measure the starting chain, all is well and start and then it looks and is too big. Last chance before I scream! I've made this before, but I think it's a bit tight for E to wear, so I'm trying again. I think my mind is not into hooking this week and I'm looking forward to school starting.

When they "invented" summer vacations, I think they found the exact timing for parents to lose their minds and decided to start school a few days before that as not to clog up the asylums. I ran out of "summer activity" steam about two weeks ago and Elena has been complaining that we aren't doing anything. It's been too hot (and today is actually cool!) to play outside, for me anyway, swimming is fine, but she can be a pain in the neck (literally) jumping on me in the pool. Shopping, yuk. I think I'm tired and feeling lazy and just don't feel like doing anything. This Baltimore excursion will be good, gets her busy and having fun, and daddy is along.

Of course, I realized this AM I had to get my act together to pack for above mentioned trip. I am in such a "slow mode". I also decided to pack some yarn for a few of Dot's Little Ditty Bags to make for my gal pals daughters. They saw Elena's and loved it and she's having another baby in September, so I'll make these for the girls little present. I am making the bubbles baby blanket and a camo hat and diaper cover (blanket in camo too) as a present. I usually wouldn't use Camo for this, but this kids gonna be rough and tumble, trust me on this one, I know it! (Yes, it's a boy). His father was a terror as a child, still is as an adult and I wouldn't expect anything less from Joey Jr! Anyway, those are the immediate plans anyway.

As you may have read elsewhere, Lori is back in the hospital-again. She went in on Friday. She had been blogging about a problem and somehow I knew she'd be back in. This has been such a rough road for her, horrible actually. I really hope this is the last setback. I plan to call her sometime later today, once I can get Elena settled where she won't interrupt every 30 seconds.

Yesterday's post generated a lot of comments. Most thought the neighbors were wrong, others not. I did want to clarify something. I know Elena has to face up to not being included in everything, I understand. I also want to say Elena is a good child, listens to adults, no back talk and adores my neighbor Arlene. It was just tough having a bunch of kids playing outside, tag and what not and having her gaze longingly at them playing. It wasn't the party she wanted, it was the playing. Those are the moments I feel so badly about her being an only child. I can't change that, it's not in the cards for me to have another, but I do feel guilty and yes, my heart sometimes literally hurts when I think about Elena being hurt or left out. My brother is six years younger than me, so I understand being alone as a child. I have a friend who is an only child and to this day, swears it's the best and only had one child herself. I've heard others lament the fact they are an only child. In a perfect world, I would have created the perfect sib for Elena, but the world ain't perfect and I can't do it. But boy, I wish I could envelope her from all the hurt in the world!

Okay, enough of my problems and guilts....I have to get to her physician and get that form filled out for next Tuesday (school orientation) and since we're going to be away, it has to be done now, post office and who knows what else along the way.

Hope everyone has a happy day!

8 comments:

Stacey said...

Oh, dang. I've been worrying about Lori since she hadn't been doing well and then hadn't posted to her blog for a while. I was hoping she hadn't ended up back in the hospital. That really sucks--I was hoping last time would be it for her...

Jessi said...

Hey. I'm right with ya on the frogging. The aflutter top is still right fresh in my memory. I feel for you.
I hear you about summer vacation...running out of steam. School starts the 31st here. Erica can't wait...that's how bored she is.
I'm keeping Lori in my thoughts.

Marvie said...

{{HUGS}}

Rowan said...

warning this is gonna be a long comment LOL

I suffered the same guilt over my daughter being lonely. The problem was solved for me a couple years ago when her dad and step mom provided a sibling for her (not an option for you I know) and honestly...we got a cat. She plays with him when she's lonely.

It's also, truly, an age that Elena is at. My daughter didn't ever want to play or be alone at that age. Now there are times she enjoys playing on her own. She has lots of cousins and lots of things to do and doesn't get lonely much anymore.

Don't beat yourself up or feel guilty, D. You're giving her a terrific childhood. She's likely extra bored cause summer is almost over and that will get better when she starts school. She'll have lots of friends to play with there.

I don't know if you have siblings (or how your relationships with them are, if you were close as kids) but I have to tell you that myself, as a child, having siblings didn't prevent me from being lonely. If anything, it was worse because my two older sisters excluded me from everything and my brother was so much younger that after a couple years, we didn't have much in common. So even with four of us, as the third one down, I was VERY lonely as a kid.

We just can't give kids everything all the time and sometimes it really hurts...and that sucks. Believe me, I know. *hugs* Be kind to yourself!!!!!!!Kids are resilient, she'll forget the whole thing before you know it.

If she were my child I'd just tell her that it wasn't a day for playing with the neighbors and maybe they could play another day, and let that be the end of it. Sometimes I think kids sense if we're upset over something and feed off that...

but once again, you do NOT need to feel guilty cause she doesn't have a sibling! She'll be fine! LOTS of kids are onlys...

hugs!

Heather said...

Words to remember Deneen....

1 child does get bored and lonely..

2 FIGHT! lol

My son is basically a single child 9 months out of the year..... I do understand what you are saying.

UGH! FROGS!!!!

Heather

Natalie said...

Can't really weigh in on the kid thing, but I just wanted to pop in and say hi and everything -

Have you found Easy Crochet yet? if not, I think I can grab you a copy...

Jewels said...

pass good crocheter's thoughts on to Lori, she's a tough cookie but damn this must be wearing on her-enough already.
put a little sucre on it baby, lol. geez I laughed totally when I read how you signed your comment, haha

CraftyCritter said...

Welcome back Deneen!

I don't think any good parent ever does without guilt....Or concern.
That's our job, aint it!
Elena will be fine, watch and see!

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