Friday, July 29, 2005

Ponderisms

Someone e-mailed me this, so I thought I'd share:

PONDERISMS


· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

· Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

· Life is sexually transmitted.

· Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

· Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

· If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

· If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

3 comments:

noricum said...

Thanks for the chuckle. ;)

CraftyCritter said...

LOL....sounds very much like George Carlin! Thanx for the laugh~

Jessi said...

Oh those are great. I thought I commented on them....I know I read them...still scratchin my head on that. Oh well. Loved them.

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