Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Crying Foul (Fowl)

What some of my readers may or may not know is that I have four Guinea hens living on my property. They wonder aimlessly around our property, in the tree behind our property and occasionally to my neighbors yard to antagonize their dog when he's tied outside.

Anyway, the birds have one area in our open field they basically lounge in. The area has its fair share of feathers and some droppings. It's kind of in the back, in a corner, where no one really goes.

One of the complaints my husband had about the birds was their poop, moreso, where they pooped. He's not really a animal/one with nature kinda guy. Anyway, I pooh-poohed him (no pun intended).

Well this morning, Elena had to get driven to school (another long, stupid story not worth blogging about). The birds were running up and down the driveway like chickens with their heads cut off (again, no pun intended). I got Elena in the Element and usually, when I am backing out of the driveway, the silly birds move. But not today, I had to get out three times and chase the same bird away from the car.

I drive her to school, get home and park in the driveway, but not the same place I started out in the morning. The birds are running in the grass, squawking, being goofy. I walk in the side door to my kitchen and instantly smell something rank. I look down on the floor and there is a smear. I take my shoe off and start gagging. Evidently, the bird who didn't move when I was leaving was doing his duty in the driveway and I was lucky enough to step in it. I never realized bird shit could smell so freaking bad. Okay, I understand it's shit and shit doesn't smell good, but this was beyond any stink I ever smelled. How the hell do chicken farmers stand it. This stuff made the horse shit on a hot, semi-breezy day smell quaint. I had to scrub the floor, my shoe and of course, not tell my husband cause all I will hear is "I told you so".

So that's my rant for the day, bird shit is the absolute worse smelling stuff in the world and is hard as hell to clean up.


DAWN said...

Urgh! man, I feel for you. At the same time, it made me laugh pretty damn hard.


Hunny said...

I heard that when you step in shit it is good luck! But that could just be dog!! I guess that give new meaning to watch your step!!

Cindy said...

I've always wanted chickens. Chicken shit and all!

Loved the story. :-)

Sara said...

LMAO!!! I never thought the words "bird shit" could be so funny!!

after that story I read the description of your yarn for trade ("smoke/pet-free environment") and I thought "Well, after that story Deneen may have to specify "bird-shit free"

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